Women are constantly told they need to get married, who hasn’t heard that? But often we’re also given reasons as to why we should marry, here’s a list of the ten most ridiculous reasons I have heard. (Number 1 is just bonkers.)
Written by Aarushi Ahluwalia
If you’re a woman over a certain age, I can almost guarantee that you’ve been told it’s time to marry, but even if you are younger, you may have been told you have to marry eventually, and given a gamut of reasons as to why it is unavoidable. I decided to compile a list of the most ridiculous of these reasons women are given to marry.
So let’s explore this insanity: Why do women have to marry?
10. If you don’t get married your family will be stressed forever.
Here’s the thing: You’re choosing to be stressed about this. You can say whatever you want about society and expectations but ultimately if you’re the one emotionally extorting your daughters in the name of your mental health, all you’re doing is passing the stress on to her.
9. Your real life won’t start until you’re married.
Here’s the thing: Our “real” lives start the day we are born and presumably end the day we die. The things we do before we marry, like have jobs and friends and hobbies, those aren’t “fake” and we’re not just waiting for our “real” lives to begin to abandon those things.
8. My work as a parent will be over if you get married.
Here’s the thing: So. Many. Things. First of all, will your work be over or will you be able to check off the last expense on your list with regard to your daughter? Secondly, that’s it then? No more daughter after that? What if I have a problem in life after marriage, do I have to find a different parent for advice? Finally, it’s just… work to you? I don’t know, I don’t see my kid as work and I can’t imagine washing my hands off my kid on the event of marriage because that is my retirement. Makes no sense to me at all.
7. You won’t have to work for money anymore, someone will be there to take care of you, and your salary can just be pocket money you spend on things you want.
Here’s the thing: Women like working for their money too, and when men support women in marital set ups, that not “taking care” of them, it’s to be perfectly clinical, remuneration for the amount of work women do within households which is till today still considered free-labour. Taking care of someone is very different and you cannot guarantee any partner I have will “take care” of me, nor do I need to be taken care of mkay?
6. You get to wear pretty clothes, and buy all the jewellery you have every wanted.
Here’s the thing: No thanks. I don’t want jewellery and I can buy what I want. You can take that money and donate it. I can wear pretty clothes whenever I want and mostly for me, that’s never.
5. You’ve been getting too much freedom, we will get you married so you can be brought under control.
Here’s the thing: A lifetime relationship as punishment for free-will? That makes Indian-sense.
4. You need to have babies, if you don’t have babies how will you ever be happy?
Here’s the thing: Dunno, yoga, I guess? And this shelf full of awards and degrees. A sunset. This adorable cat.
3. We’ll get the son we always wanted.
Here’s the thing: Wow, way to make me feel like a means to an end. Adopt one if you want a son so bad. Jesus.
2. Single women who don’t get married are the reason why there is so much crime.
Here’s the thing: No, you are. People who think like you, you are the reason there is so much crime.
1. If you are not married you cannot hang out with your married friends anymore because they will think you are hitting on their husbands.
Here’s the thing: WHAT! WHAT? WHAT.
If you have heard this please come hang with me. Hit on my husband too if you want. Hell hit on me. Let’s go kitchen table poly and confuse the living hell out of your parents. Please.
Thanks for playing.